A lesson from Carrie Underwood’s Mom

A few months ago, we took our kids to a Carrie Underwood concert as part of my sister’s 50th birthday celebration. It was their first concert, and they were Blown Away ;) The arena, the crowd, the costume changes, acrobatics, fire - the production was pretty incredible. She just completed her 43-city tour and is headed back to Las Vegas for another residency.  

I also remember being with my sister the night that Carrie won American Idol in 2005. We were in the San Juan Islands and we were trying to find a tv that had reception so we could watch. Regardless of how you might feel about country music, you can’t deny she has one of the most powerful voices that we’ve heard in the past few decades.  

I saw something she wrote recently, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it:  

“If you wanna go, I’ll take you.” These might have been the most pivotal words anyone has ever spoken to me. I was busy talking myself out of trying out for American Idol and my mom said these words…the rest is history. - Carrie Underwood

If you wanna go, I’ll take you.

My kids don’t have real passions yet. They are 5 & 7. They don’t have things they are obviously good at (like top in the world - I just don’t see it at this point.) But I hope with everything I am that I will be that kind of mom.  

The kind of mom who understands that it’s hard to believe in yourself sometimes.

The kind of mom who will let you make your own decisions, even if deep down I have an opinion on it.

The kind of mom who will be steady when you feel all shaken up inside and not sure of what to do.

The kind of mom who will get in the car and drive you to your dreams.

I feel like so much of parenting little kids is saying, “No.” They ask for a lot, it’s sort of like their job. And there are usually reasons why we need to say no.

“Can I have a playdate right now?” No, it’s dinner time.

“Can I have a candy?” At 8pm, definitely no.

“Can we go to Hawaii this weekend?” I wish, but no.

“Can I stay home from school?” Unfortunately, no.

“Can I join Art Club?” We don’t have space for another thing on the schedule, and they require parent volunteers!

“Can I drink some of your coffee?” No.

“Can I have a popsicle for breakfast?” No.

“Can I drive your car into the garage?” LITERALLY NO. You are 7.

“Can I go to so-and-so’s birthday at the trampoline place?” Nothing sounds worse for a Saturday.

When I think about Carrie’s quote, part of me yearns for the future when my kids will ask me about meaningful things. I wonder about what their dreams will be. What our conversations will be like. What will they love?! Will my daughter still love horses, or is that just a little girl thing? Will my son still love golf and ask me to drive him to a tryout? Oh how I can’t wait to jump in the car and take them towards what they want to do. I can’t wait to show them that all those years of saying no were building to the time that I could scream “YES!!”

(Or maybe act really casual about it…like it’s no big deal at all that their dream could come true in a few weeks. Whatevs. Totally up to you. If you wanna go, I’ll take you.)

Yes, part of me yearns for the future. But really, it’s only a small part of me.

The majority of me recognizes that everything my kids ask for is actually meaningful to them now. They ask for a lot, because they have big desires and big feelings for the things that are important to them now. It might not be things that they’ll pursue with passion as a career, but that doesn’t mean their requests are small. The asks are big to them.

My son asks about playdates constantly because his friends mean the world to him. He is the happiest when he’s with his little buddies.

They ask about food because they want to make decisions for themselves, and they want to choose things that taste good!! Honestly, I feel that deeply because I want to eat only things that taste good as well.

They ask about coffee because they’re curious about being an adult and they want to do adult things as they get older.

They ask about Hawaii because we went with extended family and it was the best time of their lives, and who wouldn’t want to go back?

They ask about Art Club because reading and math haven’t come easily and they want to do something that feels more natural and positive.

He wants to drive my car because… well, because he wants to drive my car and some things are still a hard no.

But I’m doing my best to be the kind of mom who will say yes to my little kids.

The kind of mom who understands that it’s hard to believe in yourself sometimes. So yes, do Art Club, and let your eyes light up with what you can accomplish and create. And yes, I’ll volunteer.

The kind of mom who will let you make your own decisions, even if deep down I have an opinion on it. So yes, let’s have popsicles for breakfast today. Probably not tomorrow, but yes today.

The kind of mom who will be steady when you feel all shaken up inside and not sure of what to do. So if something at school isn’t going well and you need a mental health day at home with me, yes, you can take one.

The kind of mom who will get in the car and drive you to… playdates and birthday parties, because that’s what dreams are made of when you’re 5 & 7.

So, if you wanna go to the trampoline place, I’ll take you.